Last week I hiked up to Angel’s Landing in Zion National Park. This 2.5 mile hike starts with a zigzag trail called Walter’s Wiggles. Once you get to the top of that, you have the option of continuing another half mile STRAIGHT UP. The rocky terrain and the installed chains are there to help you along the way, providing both footholds and handholds. It is not for the faint of heart or for those who are afraid of heights. I am not afraid of heights; I am afraid of falling. They are two different, often paralyzing fears.

Because of my fear, it occurred to me as I slowly and surely made my way to the top that having the ability to focus is crucial. With no railings, any fall off the edge meant certain death. Since falling is my fear, it was important that I focus my attention and eyesight across the vista, never down. If I looked down, I would not have been able to make it to the top or back down again (which was the tougher part).

The Law of Attraction says you get more of what you focus on. I spent all my time during that half-mile focused on two things: the breathtakingly beautiful scenery and my pride in what I was achieving. The more I focused on those two things, the more I enjoyed myself. In fact, there were moments when I was suffused with joy.

Going back down was more difficult. At that point, I was focused on how much my knees hurt and my concern for my partner who had been having trouble with his knees before we went on the hike. The more I gave these two concerns my attention, the less I enjoyed the hike down.

Admittedly, it is difficult to ignore pain but I’m pretty sure I would have enjoyed the downward trek a bit more if I had, in spite of the pain, continued to focus on the beautiful scenery and our shared accomplishment. I know that’s true because, every once in a while, a group of college students on Spring Break would pass us on the way down the steep hill and proclaim, “You guys are our heroes!” or “Way to go!” and, for those brief, shining moments, the pain disappeared and I felt terrific!

I am not an advocate of taking action when you are afraid; that is not what I did. Had I gone up the steep incline fighting fear, I would have put myself and my partner in danger. Instead, I replaced the fear by focusing on two things I love—beauty and challenge.

Could the metaphor for life be any more obvious?

We all face things in life we find difficult. Unfortunately, many of us have been trained to fight against them or take action despite them. Both only cause them to remain more firmly entrenched. You get more of what you focus on. If I had simply said, “I don’t want this fear to stop me,” my focus would have been on the fear, triggering the “fight or flight” response. This response corresponds to an area of our brain called the hypothalamus, which—when stimulated—initiates a sequence of nerve cell firing and chemical release that prepares our body for running or fighting. My brain would have responded by flooding my system with stress hormones, causing me to perceive everything as a threat, which would have been dangerous. Bottom line: I would not have even attempted the climb. Instead, I opted to enjoy the scenery and the challenge. The fear was not included in my focus and so I never felt it. Not once.

Focus is powerful and every one of us has the ability to control where we place ours. Is it easy at first? No, it takes practice but like everything, the more you practice, the more accomplished you become.

If your thoughts don’t serve you well, challenge what your mind tells you:
– Is your boss really out to get you or is he just unskilled at management?
– Is your co-worker truly an insensitive jerk or could she possibly have problems in her life you know nothing about?
– Did you actually get nothing done today or does it just feel that way?

Too often we accept our thoughts as the truth when in fact they are simply thoughts. If someone told you, “You didn’t get anything done today,” you would likely argue that you did and come up with evidence to support your assertion. You can do the same with your mind—argue your case (but not out loud; people get institutionalized for less).

Remember, you get more of what you focus on. When you control your focus, you can literally climb mountains.

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Many years ago, when I adopted my then teenaged foster daughters it was important to me that there be no hypocrisy in my parenting. In other words, if I taught them to behave in a certain way, then I needed to, as well. In 12-step groups they call this “walking your talk.” This turned out to be a goal one strives for; I did so imperfectly.

As I set out to teach them to be gentler in their self-appraisals I began to listen to my own inner dialogue. I quickly realized that, for most of us, if we talked to our children the way we talk to ourselves, we would be arrested for child abuse.

I was disheartened by many of the things I said to myself:
You’ll never be able to do that—you’ve tried before and failed.
You lost your keys again? What’s the matter with you?
Who do you think you are?
You are so lazy, it’s a wonder you’ve accomplished anything in life!

We all do some version of this—so what?

Brain researchers tell us that the way we talk to ourselves is a critical component of how we act in and process the world around us. Our brain accepts whatever we say to it without question and so, however we are damning ourselves, this information is processed as a fact rather than an opinion.

According to Steven Campbell, M.S.I.S. in his book Making Your Mind Magnificent, “The brain records everything you say to it about yourself as readily as it records what it sees when it looks at a picture.”

Campbell goes on to tell us, “So when you say, “No way! I can’t do that!” the mind simply says, “OK…you can’t” and then blocks out the ways for you to do it. If, however, you say: “Absolutely…of course I can do that!” the brain also accepts this as truth without question. No arguments. Not only that, your brain then endeavors to help you find a way to do it, and then gives you the energy to do so.”

Usually this harsh consideration was learned in early childhood—a critical parent, a disapproving teacher, even an older sibling can all impact our self-image. The good news is that others are no longer in charge—you are.

The reason it’s difficult to change these habits of negative self-talk is that your brain’s job is to keep you from changing. Campbell outlines this when he writes about the brain’s resistance to change: “Your brain does not like being out of its comfort zone. It will resist any changes you want as much as it can, and will find all sorts of ways of doing so, including lying to you and telling you things about yourself that are simply not true.”

It’s important to understand that your thoughts are not necessarily true. When I was a child, I was convinced there was a bogeyman living in my closet. My brain told me it was true and even convinced me that I was hearing him make threatening sounds. We all have bogeymen living inside our minds and they talk to us very convincingly. Our job is to say to them, “Thank you for sharing but I disagree with what you are telling me.” (By the way, I don’t recommend talking to your bogeymen out loud unless you are alone—society prefers self-talk be done silently.)

The Law of Attraction dictates that you get more of what you focus on. The messages you give yourself are even more critical than the messages others are giving you because they comprise your ongoing focus. We would all do well to remember the lesson we learned as children when we read the classic tale of The Little Engine that Could. His self-talk was:

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.
I know I can, I know I can, I know I can.
And (after succeeding) I knew I could, I knew I could, I knew I could.

If you are not familiar with this story, you can easily find it online and it is well worth reading (repeatedly).

If, like me, you have often wished that your parents were better skilled at their jobs there is a simple, albeit challenging solution: become the loving parent you always dreamed of and say to yourself what you wish had been said to you. As a brilliant philosopher once said, “It’s never too late to have a happy childhood.” (I know you can, I know you can, I know you can.)

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One of the abilities to deteriorate under the impact of stress is one’s capacity to focus clearly. The Law of Attraction dictates that you get more of what you focus on. In the absence of a clear focus, what you attract is a mixed bag, which creates even more stress because it makes you feel like you’re on a very fast train going nowhere.

In his groundbreaking and incredibly useful book Change Your Brain; Change Your Life, psychiatrist Daniel Amen teaches that the prefrontal cortex, the most evolved part of the human brain, is essential in helping us reach our goals. It is involved with some pretty critical jobs including concentration, attention span, judgment, impulse control, and critical thinking. One of the reasons I like this book is that Dr. Amen provides very practical solutions to problems like “inability to focus.” The “prescriptions” he writes are not those you go to the pharmacy to get filled –they are things you can do for yourself that will net small results pretty quickly and big results over time.

One of my favorite Amen prescriptions for becoming more focused is, “Focus on what you like a lot more than what you don’t like.” He goes on to say, “Focusing on what you like about your life and what you like about others is a powerful way to keep your prefrontal cortex healthy.”

The need for this is most clear when you think about relationships. Let’s say you have ten co-workers that you spend a lot of time with during your workweek. Nine of them are people you like very much and look forward to seeing each day. But there is this one ______ (fill in the blank—idiot, jerk, troublemaker, slacker—you know the label you use as a descriptor). For this article, we will call this person The Jerk. Who is it that you give most of your attention to? Who do you keep a careful eye on all day? Who do you most discuss with others in the company? Who do you talk about when you go home? The nine people you like so much? Of course not! Your mind is much too preoccupied with The Jerk!

The more attention you give to The Jerk, the more difficult it is for you to focus on anything else because you are actually doing damage to your prefrontal cortex! As Dr. Amen puts it, “Focusing on the negative aspects of others or of your own life makes you more vulnerable to depression and can damage your relationships.”

I get excited about all this brain research because, when I first started talking about the Law of Attraction thirteen years ago, many people felt it was just more “touchy-feely” nonsense. Intuitively, I knew that wasn’t true. Changing my focus from dwelling on the negative to looking for the positive was a critical component in my recovery from depression and alcoholism. Over the years I’ve witnessed similar results in others.

Because a healthy prefrontal cortex is essential in helping you achieve your goals, then it makes total sense that, when you are miserable, you are not attracting what you want into your life because your ability to achieve your goals is hindered.
Interestingly, Dr. Amen writes that, “People with prefrontal cortex challenges, especially people with ADD, tend to be conflict-driven as a way to ‘turn on’ prefrontal cortex activity. Unfortunately, this behavior has many negative side effects, especially on relationships and immune system functioning.”

The result of proactively inviting conflict into one’s life can only be more conflict. You get more of what you focus on. Before I started to deliberately apply the Law of Attraction to my life, I found myself in many conflict-filled situations in which I felt like a victim. Now that I take full responsibility for all that happens to me, I no longer attract those situations. Don’t get me wrong. There are many occasions when I want to blame someone else for a circumstance I don’t like but ultimately, when I look at my part in what happens to me, I see that I attracted it. And when I see how I did so, I can adjust my focus and my behavior to correct the situation.

I strongly encourage you to check out Dr. Amen’s website http://www.amenclinics.com/. He has many free tools including videos, tests and articles that can help with any issues you or a loved one might be faced with or would like to avoid in the future.

The best thing to remember is that you get more of what you focus on so, if you want to change your life, change your focus!

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In a Success Magazine article entitled Goal-Setting Doesn’t Work, Darren Hardy wrote that setting a goal is only part of what we need to do to attract what we want from life. Once a goal is set, we need to ask, “What kind of a person do I need to be to achieve that goal?”

Let’s say you want a promotion at work. Asking Hardy’s question will take you so much further and quickly. What kind of a person do you need to be to get that promotion?

• How would that person feel?
• How would that person act?
• How would that person look?
• How would that person interact with co-workers and/or clients?

You might, for example, need to be the type of person who:

• Imagines what it would feel like to have the promotion. Once you know that feeling, make sure you feel that way as you move through your days toward your new role.
• Has the self-confidence of someone who would be promoted into that position.
• Looks the part—you dress the way someone who already has the promotion would.
• Works the number of hours that someone in that role would.
• Does everything you can to learn about the new job because you know it’s coming.
• Doesn’t get involved in petty gossip at work.
• Gives the majority of your attention to what you’re doing versus what other people are or are not doing.

Oftentimes this is called “acting as if” but it’s deeper than that. It’s actually “being as if,” i.e., adopting the feelings you know you’ll have when you receive the promotion.

Joy has been (ironically, given her name) adrift in negativity since her divorce over a year ago. She came to me for some coaching so I asked her, “How do you want to feel?” She replied, “I want to wake up singing.” I replied, “That’s simple! You will wake up singing when you wake up singing!”

You see, like so many of us, she was looking for something to inspire her to wake up singing. That’s backward. When you are the kind of person who wakes up singing, something is guaranteed to come along that will inspire you and your songs will get even sweeter.

The Law of Attraction says that you get more of what you focus on. When your feelings and your actions match those of the future you who has already achieved what you are now setting your sights on, then you will achieve your goal or something similar that will make you feel the same way.

I have a friend who has made quite a lot of money in his life but like most wealthy
people, he has had setbacks. Over dinner last week, he regaled me with stories about some of those “failures.” As I asked clarifying questions, he began to see that most of those so-called failures actually lead to specifically related opportunities for even greater gain down the road. If he had quit when it looked like he wasn’t getting what he set out to, he would have missed these opportunities.

In other words, if you don’t receive the promotion, it’s not over. There is probably something even bigger on its way that you would have missed if you received the promotion. Just keep “being” the kind of person who receives promotions and watch what happens.

No matter what you want, the achievement of it happens much more quickly and easily when you figure out what type of person you need to be to get there.
All roads point to “being.” Who do you want to be?

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Everyone who has a job today is working very hard. (Okay, okay, for those of you who immediately thought of someone who’s not pulling his weight, let me rephrase.) Most people who have jobs today are working very hard.

I hear about impossible workloads, frustration, anger, illness and stress. And I ask, “Why are you doing that to yourself?”

“What!?!?” you may very well cry, “I’m not doing this to myself – my organization is.”

I know it seems like that but it’s simply not true. Allow me to explain.

While it’s true that you are being given impossible amounts of work to do, only you have the power to generate stress within yourself.

The state of stress is a reaction to outside stimuli. When the stimulus is comprised of spoken words or behavior we witness, that alone cannot generate the stress—that comes from you and your internal/external dialogue.

The exception to this, of course, is if someone were to do something physical to you. While there are people who have trained themselves to detach and not react to beatings or other means of torture, it is a natural human instinct for the brain to release stress hormones in reaction to physical duress. These same hormones are released when the danger is not real if we manage to convince our minds that it is real (as in how we react when there is too much work to do).

The Law of Attraction says that you get more of what you focus on. By focusing on how difficult everything is, how impossible the demands are and how much you dislike what you are currently doing, you are causing yourself more stress than any other person could IF they had the power to cause you stress, which they don’t.

I once attended a class in human behavior and the professor, a Ph.D. in psychology taught us that, when you react to any situation, the adult has vacated your body and a small child has taken its place. Stress is a reaction, not a response.

When you take the time to come up with a strategy of response to challenging stimuli, your stress will begin to dissipate and could eventually disappear. But what do we most often do? We whip ourselves into frenzy by thinking or telling anyone who will listen how wrong all of this is and how much we are suffering. And yet, the only one who can relieve your suffering is you. This is actually very good news because that puts you in the driver’s seat.

Train yourself to notice the symptoms of stress; they are different for everyone. I unconsciously clench my fists. I have one friend who whistles and another who nervously taps her pen.

Once you’ve noticed that you are under stress, HALT. This is an acronym I borrowed from 12-step programs. Ask yourself:

H – Are you hungry? Low blood sugar contributes to stress in all sorts of ways. If you are hungry, eat something that is good for you. A chocolate bar may taste yummy but will spike your blood sugar and you’ll crash even lower. Some form of protein is your best bet.

A – Are you angry? If you are, figure out what to do about it but make sure it isn’t something that will escalate the problem. What helps me is to figure out what’s funny about the situation. Most of the things I get really angry about are pretty funny in the bigger scheme of things.

L – Are you lonely? Oftentimes, we are stressed because we feel unsupported. Reach out to someone who always makes you feel appreciated.

T – Are you tired? This is a tough one because so often we ignore fatigue in favor of getting more work done. The best thing you can do for yourself when you realize you are tired is to make plans to go to bed at least 1-2 hours earlier than normal that same night and get some sleep. You will be much more productive for the remainder of the week.

There is no doubt that these are stressful times. If you use the power of your mind coupled with the Law of Attraction, you’ll find that, not only will you weather the storm; you can actually reside within the eye where all is peaceful and calm.

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New Year
New Goals
New Hopes
New Dreams

Will this be the year you allow into your life all the things you’ve been summoning with your desire?

The Law of Attraction dictates that you get more of what you focus on. What will the theme of your focus be this year?

Will your focus be on enjoying your work more? Then you must put your attention on all the things you enjoy and turn a blind eye to the things that annoy you.

Will your focus be on getting that raise or promotion? Then find out what the criteria are and put your full attention on fulfilling them.

Would you like your relationships to be more satisfying? Then it is important that you develop the habit of continually looking for what you like in the other person rather than what needs to be changed or corrected.

Would you like to enjoy life more? It’s not rocket science. All that is required to enjoy life is to enjoy life! No magic formula; no mantras or affirmations to remember. Just enjoy!

You were born to have all that you want. If you don’t, then the first place to look for what’s gone wrong is your focus (also known as your attention.)

• Do you focus on what you don’t have or on your blessings? I’m continually surprised to read about all the surveys taken that say there is an epidemic of job dissatisfaction in this country. This is problematic for two reasons: (1) having a job, especially in this economy is a gift. There are thousands who would gladly trade places with you and put up with whatever you’re dealing with if only they could get a paycheck to feed their families; and (2) if you’re dissatisfied and stay focused on all the reasons why, you’ll never get out of the job you dislike so much! Or worse, you’ll get a new job and discover the same problems as you had in the first. You get more of what you focus on.

• Do you focus on what’s right in your world or on what’s wrong? Notice I said “your world,” not “THE world.” One of the most useful tools in my recovery from a 30-year depression was the realization that I cannot change the world but I can change my corner of it. Before I got into action, I spent a lot of time pointing out all the reasons the world was doomed. Once I began doing something to improve my corner, that hopelessness began to lift.

• Do you focus on the attributes you like about your family and friends or on all those things that annoy you? Everyone, including you, is annoying to someone. You cannot help it and here’s why: you’re not annoying them; they’re choosing to regard you as annoying. You cannot control how others feel about you but you can control how you feel about them. You have a choice between letting their behavior annoy, have no impact at all, or charm. Before you make the choice, remember that you get more of what you focus on.

The simplest way to get all the things you desire in 2010 is to choose to be in love every single day: with yourself, with your family and friends, with your job, with your boss (yes, your boss!) and co-workers and with all the big and little things that make up your life.

Or, as my wise friend Sarah says, “You want to be happy? GO AHEAD!”

I wish you a fulfilling year of primarily focusing on whatever brings you joy. For me, you definitely fall into that category.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

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It’s hard to believe we are wrapping up the first decade of the new century. Time flies and it seems to have little to do with whether we are having fun.

As we move into the first year of a new decade (I like that—it makes it seem so dramatic!) it seems an opportune time to consider what we want to attract into our lives.

One of the most profound lessons I’ve learned as I’ve studied how to apply the Law of Attraction to my life is that you must give whatever it is you want to get.

For example, I hear many complaints about bosses who are poor managers. “My boss never tells me when I’m doing something right but is very quick to point out when I’ve done something wrong,” is a common lament. I’ve no doubt that’s true. We are a society that is more comfortable pointing out problems than focusing on what’s going right. If this is one of your complaints, take a moment to answer this question, “How often do you point out to yourself the things you are doing right?” Do you pat yourself on the back regularly or are you always chiding yourself about procrastination, mistakes and your work performance?

You cannot attract something you won’t give to yourself!

Keep this in mind as you venture forth into the new year. What is it that you want more of in your life and how can you give it to yourself?

Do you want more respect? Then take a look at whether you are practicing self-respect. For example, let’s say you find that people are late to appointments with you, cancel at the last minute or don’t show up at all. There’s a good chance that you don’t keep the appointments you make with yourself. If you tell yourself you’re going to exercise, do you keep that appointment or do you allow other things to get in the way? When you take a vacation day from work do you use it to relax or are you still working? Others won’t keep their word with you until you keep your word with yourself.

You cannot attract something you won’t give to yourself!

Like most people, I want to be recognized for the value of my work. If I don’t first recognize it myself, then accolades are unlikely to show up. I’ve noticed over the years that the prouder I am of the work I do, the more people tell me in person or write to tell me how much they value that very same work.

You cannot attract something you won’t give to yourself!

Longshoreman-philosopher Eric Hoffer wrote, “You can never get enough of what you really don’t want.” I am a recovering alcoholic. When I was drinking, I could never get enough because it wasn’t what I really wanted. What I was looking for in the bottle was what I felt was missing in me. That’s true whether you use food, shopping, work, sex, drugs or rock ‘n roll. Any kind of addictive behavior is comprised of trying to fill a giant hole with something that can never fill it!

A friend of mine who is also in recovery tells the following story: I went to my counselor, very excited because I had finally figured out what my problem was—I wasn’t loved enough. Instead of offering me a comforting pat on the back, my counselor instead said, “Gary, let me tell you something. We could get the United Nations to issue a proclamation declaring tomorrow Love Gary Day. The highlight of Love Gary Day is that everyone in the world stops at noon, turns in your direction and sends waves of love to you. And it would not be enough. Addicts are the black hole of love. If you think you’re not loved enough, there is only one solution—love!”

That is Law of Attraction in a nutshell. You give what you want to get because while you are giving it, you are focused on it and you always get more of what you focus on.

This is a wonderful time of year to take a good, long look at all that we have collected—toys, friends, accolades, complaints, “stuff,” debt, etc.—and ask ourselves, “Is this what I really want?” If the answer is no, figure out what you do want and give it to yourself because you cannot attract something you won’t give to yourself.

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Thanksgiving launches us full-speed into the holiday season, potentially a time of great stress. Certainly it is fraught with many emotions, both positive and negative.

As you look ahead to your Thanksgiving plans, you may want to do what my teacher Abraham Hicks calls “pre-paving.” Actually, most of us have already done quite a lot of pre-paving in the form of expectations. You may want to do some deliberate pre-paving.

If you expect Thanksgiving to be a problem, you are probably basing that expectation on past years when things did not go so well. Conversely, those of you who cannot wait to sit around the table visiting with the friends and family you love have used your memories of past holidays to fuel an expectation of a good time.

Either way, you get what you expect.

It is a rare one among us who completely ignores what has happened in the past and decides what kind of holiday they intend to have. This is pre-paving—shaping your experience in advance.

You will be pleasantly surprised by what you can accomplish when you decide beforehand the kind of experience you intend to have. For example, if you think ahead to the things Uncle Fred typically says that make you want to scream, you can decide that this year you will listen to his particular brand of craziness and regard it as humorously eccentric. In fact, you may want to take notes so that, after the holiday, you can entertain your friends with stories of his antics.

You can also use your fertile imagination to turn your cousin Maria (the one who is always trying to tell you how to run your life) into an Oprah gone horribly wrong. Imagine her as a talk show host and picture the audience’s reaction to the bad advice she spouts. You’ll (almost) feel sorry for her as she continues to regale you with her good ideas for how your life ought to be.

You can even listen to those things your parents say every year that trigger the four-year-old inside you to stage a tantrum and instead smilingly respond, “I know you say that because you love me. I love you, too.” Wouldn’t that be worth the looks of shock on their faces? After all, their memories of holidays past are probably that you usually “overreact” to things.

What’s interesting about the holidays is how they so clearly demonstrate that you get what you expect. Oh sure, I know that you think you expect everyone to link arms, sing a happy song and be lovey-dovey. That’s not an expectation, it’s a hope. Consider that the Law of Attraction says you get more of what you focus on. In reality, you’re not focused on having a happy holiday you’re worried that it will all go wrong and that you’ll be disappointed one more time. The more worried you are, the more likely that the holidays will be a rough ride.

You get what you expect.

What if you approached Thanksgiving with the expectation that you’re going to have a good time–period? It isn’t contingent on the behavior of others. The meal you sit down to needn’t be perfect. Heck, your favorite football team doesn’t even need to win. (Gasp—such blasphemy!) No matter what happens, you fully intend to have a good time.

You get what you expect.

This is something you can put into play every single day, holiday or not. Pre-paving can mean using the time in your shower each morning to decide to have a great day. If you think about it, you’re probably already deciding to have a not-so-good day by spending your shower time focused on problems you have to deal with in the hours ahead.

You can also use this technique of pre-paving any time you like. You can stop yourself in the course of your day and decide that, in the next hour things are going to improve considerably (even if they are already great).

You get what you expect.

Whatever your expectations for Thanksgiving, I wish you a holiday of focusing on what you are grateful for and whispering, “Thank you” to your higher power. While you’re at it, you may want to express gratitude for the incredible freedom that lies in your ability to get what you expect.

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I’ve always had this theory that people drive the way they think. I developed this after observing two people:

The first was my Dad who drove incredibly slow and seemed oblivious to the impact it had on drivers on the road with him. People thought it was because of his age but he drove that way even when he was younger. His thought process mirrored the driving—he took a lot of time to think about and articulate ideas and didn’t care if he was holding things up. He would let you know his thoughts when he was good and ready. As an impatient young child living in his house, this habit drove me a little bit crazy.

The second person who inspired this theory was a manager I worked with years ago. One day we went to lunch and, on the harrowing drive to the restaurant, she tailgated every car that had the misfortune of being in front of us. As I reflected on this, I realized that in the office she did her own form of tailgating —she was an impossible micro-manager who put fear into the hearts of her staff.

I’ve started to refine this idea even further because I now understand that the way we drive is also an indication of our spiritual and emotional health. This may have been inspired by the following story someone sent me in an email:

A man was being tailgated by a stressed out woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.

I assumed you had stolen the car.”

The Law of Attraction says that you get more of what you focus on. If you’re not sure about where your focus is, don’t look to affirmations you are praying, bumper stickers you are displaying or positive words you are saying. Too often they are indicators of how you’d like to be or how you’d like others to think you are. Look instead to how you are responding to everyday situations.

It doesn’t take much personal fortitude to behave in church or temple. But in the midst of traffic, when everything seems to be going wrong and you are late and stressed to the limit, that’s when you can see the state of your spiritual and emotional health.

Here’s the fun part. If you discover that you are not where you want to be, an easy way to quickly turn it around is to shift your focus.

Look, the vast majority of drivers on the road are skilled and courteous. If, however, you spend all your time focused on the few who are not, then your driving experience is going to be very stressful (and you’ll attract more poor drivers around you.)

Try this: for the next week, decide what kind of person you want to be all the time, even while behind the wheel of your car. Then do whatever is necessary to be that person even when no one is looking. You’ll soon discover that your health, spiritual and emotional has improved considerably, both behind the wheel and everywhere else. And you will be bowled over by what you start to attract.

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